love.Christmas.

i love gaps of silences in between music.

i love stepping into a foreign country right out of the plane.

i love smelling the aromas of freshly baked brownies.

i love independent films made with such precision even if they were obviously low budgeted.

i love hosting dinner parties.

i love discussing thematic symbols of plays,musicals and films/books/scripts/art.

i love reading philosophy.

i love macadaemia nuts.

i love walking on the beach.

i love going up to mountainous regions.

i love simplicity.

i love running.

i love hearing little children laugh.

i love seeing old people smile.

i love intensity.

i love to love with an intensity.

i love to cry when i watch a film.

i love to feel alive.

i love the smell of vanilla ice cream.

i love boiled peanuts.

i love exclaiming excitedly after I learnt something.

i love eating sashmi with alot of wasabi.

i love eating ALOT of chillies.

i love reading success stories of self made entrepreneurs.

i love listening to stories of wise veterans.

i love reading history.

i love reading.

i love being boring,gawky and geeky and pore over books.

i love being comfortable.

i love parties.

i love beautiful dresses.

i love hats.

i love hearing my mother say "this is my daughter" when we meet others.

i love eating with my brother.

i love how my godsister kept shoving tons of junk food onto my lap during the movie.

i love my godsister.

i love my gd friend,her fiance.

i love how he lights up when he talks about indian food.

i love eating with them,especially when he introduces me to things i stare suspiciously at.

i love that jalapeno breadfried thingy he forced me to try.

i love hugging the little children i once visited at an orphanage.

i love talking to little children like they are adults.

i love toasted bread with peanut butter and jelly.

i love the colour white.

i love surprising others.

i love being surprised.

i love seeing my bro and mum at the arrival gate.:)

it is christmas....i love this season of love and giving.i love Love.

Yuck

This note addresses my utter horror in certain circumstances which u will never find me in,after listening to some friends describe in vivid details.

U see,I'm absolutely talented when it comes to visually imagining things. Had u told me there's some kick ass restaurant or food place with such elegance and detail, I'd be there in a heartbeat.

My friends told me they played truth or dare recently and the wager was soooooo gross. The appointed person had to lick the the entire rim of the toilet bowl AFTER pple used it. When I heard it wasn't a toilet bowl,but those squat ons, I nearly went into cardiac arrest. If u don't already know,I'm a cleanliness freak. I have some pet peeves my friends will smile and tell U about.

I never liked eating in a restaurant where my table was either closest to the toilet or facing it at near range. I also do not like dirty toilets,yes Im sure nobody does,but I secretly look disgusted and horrified every time I have to use a public toilet. Therefore I really really really hate it when people go into details about their excretory system ESPECIALLY during dinner. It's the worst etiquette in the world.

I know,I'm an anal person,and I'm apologetic. But,on a brighter note,U know when U come to my house and U eat my cooking, it's absolutely top notched with the pinnacle of hygiene. So guess what happened to my friend who had to lick that entire rim of the toilet bowl?Immediately the next morning lotsa nasty red patches and rashes and funny boils grew on his neck. SEE,I told U! Not being mindful of hygiene and playing with fire to such grossness will breed grossness. YUCK.

I'm glad the 4 bfs I had previously were ALL clean. In fact 1 was a neat freak who loved arranging things,he even helped a couple of his friends tidy their houses in US. Ok,so now U know who I'm talking about. HAHA. Another was also a cleanliness freak who showed me how he did dishes by scrubbing the inside and outside of bowls diligently. U know how some lazy bums tend to only scrub the insides because that's where food had been? I was pleasantly delighted to know that he was thinking along the same lines as me.That same bf made salad for the guys living in the hostel once and I was so pleased to see he had gloves on during the process.

Now,if U think I'm a princess who cannot eat at street stalls or a diva who must be treated with utter respect being placed on the pedestal, U are half correct. I MUST be treated with respect because in the same way I will treat anybody with respect, I NEVER decide that one person is more important than the other.Unless U're God,since that's the only being I cannot find a flaw with. I love street food and Taiwanese street food is gastronomic! However I don't fancy being brought into disgusting conversations or listening to people tell me why they love drinking urine because of its beneficial effects.To each his own. It also will never turn the romance on by telling me in fascination that the poo eating ways of some extreme couples are interesting or that some Japanese believe in eating baby poo. Just kill me,it's easier.

Mummy

I miss u mum.

This time round I could not stay for long,but u actually took a day off to make chicken rice for me. It was your first attempt but wow,it was exactly how I loved it. And u took all the meat apart,so I didn't have to deal with the bones. U knew I love breast meat because I'm the sort that hates gnawing on bones and then U wedged all the bones apart and removed them. U're so sweet ma. And u also helped me prepare so much chillies because U know I'm such a spice fanatic.

Mum,I'm sorry I'm such a brat. I have a fiery temper (damn,it's those chillies) and spew venom whenever I'm hungry,annoyed or provoked. U see mum,I'm exactly 12 now and I'm acting my age so let me grow up some more while U stay young and beautiful.

U insisted and insisted that I didn't have to do laundry and honestly I should have beaten U at insisting,because I am the mother of all stubborn mules. But then,U're MY mother. So. I now know where I inherited those obstinate, headstrong traits from. Mum....I know U won't read this,because it would be too crazy to add U on facebook. What would u do if U realized that your daughter is such a psycho she has all these crazy applications and personality tests to prove that she is a "playful kisser,a Guru lover", a serial killer called Sylar from Heroes and secretly lesbian (portia) too? And all those times I stared fixated on the computer screens looking painstakingly intellectual when I was actually hooked on facebook Mafia and playing Rock, Paper, Scissors and every intervals sending people virtual "gropes,dropkicks,pwns???"

and invisible eggnogs and sleigh rides. What would u say mum, what would U say?

Oh and I get secretly thrilled too when people "pwn,hug,kiss,grope,dropkick,cuddle" or send me gingerbread men,turkeys and a Grinch running after me too. I am a hair's breadth away from turning absolutely insane from the cyber-reality world and while I tried to blend in with the reality and the world beyond Facebook in society, there I find friends,colleagues and even my director and producers are on Facebook. They have told me they liked the virtual ice creams I send them and are a little miffed when they are not mentioned in my Notes or are further down the columns in my Top Friends section. So after clearing the 500 application requests I get whenever I log on,I decided to join a group that says "If someone sends me another facebook application I will eat up their parents", yes it's deplorable mum, I know I'm superbad.

On a lighter note and straying away from Facebook, I would like to say that U looked absolutely greater everytime. Would U think I can look as radiant as U when I grow up next time? I know 12 is a little far away but at the rate U're going,ma,I'm aging faster than U. I also thank U for putting up with my pet peeves and offering me that safety net whenever I feel traumatised or bullied. I think I end up bullying U sometimes because I throw out my pent up accumulated frustrations without batting an eye mostly.Mum,mum,mum,no,it should be mummy because that is what I call U since I was born and it has never changed. I think I just wanted to prevent people from thinking I was acting cute by calling U that but screw it, oops,sorry I meant, Bless them.

Love u ma. Thanks for being my mother.

Extremes Vs Moderates

I am extreme,and excessive,in fact I'm extremely excessive. Pardon the pun honey but I TOTALLY had to do it. I guess most people would say,"be in moderation" about everything,from food to erm being of temperate natures.Mostly I feel like defending the edge of my extremes and excessiveness by screaming out loud at the mofos who preach that. So,would U like to be loved in "moderation" and also be told U're only "moderately" beautiful and that U are going to be "moderately" successful for the rest of your life? Whenever I read articles or interviews some artistes with their predictably "I eat whatever I want but the key is MODERATION" gets me wanting a punching bag so EXCESSIVELY bad. If that was the case why do they not continue saying the same resounding preaching but insist "....and I eat alot of fruits and vegetables and drink alot of water." U might as well have said "The United States has many states" or " Cows produce milk but don't wear bras."

OK,so I'm a little "excessive"when I draw out my sword of sarcasm.

I think being moderate is a nicer way of saying being in the middle,being in transition and being lukewarm. Have u heard enough sad stories about the middle child syndrome or the tragic clauses of being mediocre for your hard efforts? Or how about that one in the bible where Christians who were termed "lukewarm" would be "spat" out by the Lord?

I think one of Singapore's tv stations might consider a nicer name,how about Mediocre-corp. OOPs,sorry for the rude reference, no, my bad,sorry for suggesting that it was "one" of Singapore's tv stations,it IS the only station in Singapore.

I think...I like to love excessively and in extremity and dangerously. I like being passionate and I like, nope I exist to love to love mostly and I never could express all the held back feelings I always had because I was trapped and pent up for being excessively tolerant and wanting to be so bloody nice all the time.Yes I admit to being extremely slow and retarded in my realizations but if I had not met J who helped use music to bring out the courage and nerve for having a nerve out from me I would still be wallowing. In victimized niceness and tolerance. I also think people who catch my flow will either love or hate my characteristics. It used to bother me,because I felt as a good Christian girl and raised as a "moderate" creature, my task was to show the left cheek so often it got so sallow after all the slappings I accidentally got. "Accidentally" because the good shepherds around me say that I had not meant to deserve the unnecessary bashing however it was something only time and forgiveness can nullify the situations eventually. I used to want to kick them for statements like these because they might as well have said "Christmas is a weather" it might have made better sense. However I understand the good from the intent of their words,even if some said it without much brainpower. How many braincells does it take to tell somebody "Oh don't bother with things like that,don't let it affect u!"

So, tell me again, politically are u that moderate-sit-on-the-fence dude as well? Well, don't worry U'll be moderately blessed or moderately cursed if your choice of president turns out to be a moderate screwball.

Ah Seng

I was all frumpy,geeky and spectacled yesterday and went to meet my friend whom I fondly refer to as AH SENG. The guy was easygoing,agreeable and nice to a painful extent. He spent the entire day watching me eat,from my fritatas which I forced him to agree that they were great,to more fritatas and fried egg,the chinese scrambled way and chicken and then more chicken yet. He said he was too amazed and I said I was too dismayed that I had such a voracious appetite. All in all the man was super nice and let me embarass him a few times by hollering or exclaiming too excitedly whenever my eye caught anything. He said I was a curious cat. He might as well have said the sky was blue.

AH SENG loved spewing a bout of vulgarities in his lyrical,profane way. He was original,hassle free and resembled Shylock the ancient money lender from Merchant of Venice. Except AH SENG,our friend was more modern,he mixed his soothing vulgarities with a distinct fusion of English,Mandarin and Hokkien. This impressed me greatly since our world was advancing to such great globalisation that even our loan sharks were becoming multi lingual. It paved a very rich future for AH SENG indeed.AH SENG was skinny,and the mirror image of Popeye's girlfriend Olive. However when I said this,he threw me a murderous stabbing glare. I then cowered in fear,almost timidly to the likelihood that he might eat my parents for dinner or send me one of those facebook bloodied chain letters at midnight,or worse holler to every neighbourhood in town and tell them I was the one that ate up all the eggs in the supermarket and restaurants ect ect. I saw my convicted face in jail and the local paper and in this foreboding image,AH SENG's skinny frame waltzed by in a menacing way and for the life of me,I decided to only keep mum after that. AH SENG was thin but awfully strong. He excelled in gambling and enjoyed chuckling as he spoke about his prowess in Mahjong. I listened intently while being pleasantly surprised time and again by his revelations that he liked certain bands that I did, such as Dream Theater and rock music. AH SENG was gaining a foothold in my mind as an impressive and interesting individual and this is the point where I tell myself to praise him for his hardy and sincere ways. AH SENG,well done for being a good friend despite having a terrible hangover yesterday, U came to meet me regardless and was even tolerant of my ugly attire. THANK U chum!

Story

An interesting banter takes place everytime this particular person speaks to me. It's not exactly one of those brainless flirtatious repartee and yet laced with acrylic sacarsm, it had the tendency to put a wry smile on my face or at times churn guffaws, which I pronounced all wrong when I spoke to this friend earlier today on the effect he had on me. And yet after putting down the phone I almost always have to wipe that huge smirk or wide smile off my face because I would wonder why this toughnut guy would have a ready tongue in cheek answer at any kind of abuse,as he claims I hurl at him. Sure,if U consider my little quirky quips which were harmless and innocent as elegant abuse.The man however sounded like he had fun with his comebacks and my try-hard attempts as well, so well,I am happy so long as the charitable act of making others cheered is at my expense,it is A-OK. This reminds me therefore of a story I remember between 2 friends quite sometime ago. Yes,storytelling is the most entertaining part of Facebook,other than those excellent applications that I see are thrown to me by the throngs and thousands everyday. I recently became the biggest committee member of this facebook group that says " If someone sends me another application, Im going to eat their parents". I too am a loyal member of the "I secretly want to punch people who walk too slowly at the back of their heads" and a fond favourite of the “他妈的，你妈妈“group. Right,let me glorify Facebook before I get back to my story. I happen to love those personality tests they have,because I cannot stop finding out why I am so different in every test I take. I became Sylar,the serial killing psychopath from Heroes, Homer,who loves donuts, Phoebe from Friends,Ginny Weasely from Harry Potter,Alex from Grey's Anatomy. Oh and apparently I was a Saint according to the "How Evil Are U" test and I should live in Los Angeles because I am perfectly capable of stepping on other people's toes, and wow, I am a Guru when it comes to being a lover and a very playful kisser???? I love it. It's such a delicious load of nonsense I cannot help but take more personality tests. So yes, after I'm done taking those I become all happy and fascinated because I discovered an amazing new angle to my personality I never knew existed. I took a "What Kind Of Serial Killer Are U" test and immediately deleted it for fear that people will know I was that dude who lured Jews to his house and looted them,for fear that my Jewish friends woulf ignore me forever and stone me at the very next time they see me.

So,back to that story. This is by no means an attempt to be corny or cheesy,it is a story,someone else's life, not my pathetic attempts to write under a guise,even if most people did that.I am more creative trust me. The personality test has said I'm the colour red and am prone to honesty.There.


Boy and Girl were platonic friends. Are,I suppose,since they are not dead yet. Boy and Girl are platonic friends,but they have had this friendship since a couple of years ago when they first met under work circumstances and from hanging out in the same group of friends.About 4 years have passed since Boy and Girl knew each other and their friendship had changed or rather grown and morphed over the years. A few years ago before Girl left the country to pursue her studies, she texted Boy on the way to the airport that she might have secretly harboured a crush on him. He replied that there always were some form of sparks flying around,and Girl smiled while she walked into the departure hall.She was not asking nor expecting anything from Boy when she told him that,but somehow he seemed to reply in a way that made her like it and yet it wasn't something that U can scream or shout because anything was really happening. I suppose the honesty was a first step to a better friendship between the 2 friends.

Boy went on to date a gorgeous,drop dead as hell woman and Girl went on to date a talented,magnificient and sugar and spice-and all things-nice kindda guy and they led separate lives for a while,in loose contact.Girl returned back to the country on one occassion and hung out with the regular group and Boy was there,by this time,our friend Boy was starting to make waves in his career and Girl felt a little impressed and awed yet distanced from him. Yet,after the other mates left,Girl and Boy were left conversing to each other. They spoke,not in the superficial sort of roundabout style where U ask in 100 ways about the variety of summers they had in Singapore,since there were 10 suns in the skies there. They spoke and asked each other how the other had been,in that interested,really caring way. And this was the first time Girl told Boy about a tragic scar in her unhappy childhood. Boy also shared about his unhappy scar in his past and they absorbed the other's information with that kind of intensity U get when runners lunged for that first drop of water after a marathon.Or picture hungry gypsies edging each other out for that loaf of bread while the song "Caravan of LOve" plays softly in the background.

Another time Girl came home,it was a rainy day and she talked to Boy on the phone before a regrettable argument and misunderstanding took place. Boy thought that Girl was implying something when she talked to him about some trivial matter,they quarrelled and did not speak for an extended period. After a while Girl heard Boy and his beautiful girlfriend broke up.She was however still attached. During that period Girl hardly spoke to Boy,but on the times they did,they became acquaintances. However the gap was narrowed when Girl started talking to Boy again over emails and the use of agents such as Friendster and Skype. They had an uncanny form of chemistry which resulted in comical retorts and smartass comebacks. Every conversation was laden with a witty malice. They went to some East Coast prawn noodle place once when Boy told Girl that he actually did feel a special sense of connection between them. It amazed and yet did not amaze Girl. She subconsciously knew this and yet it was unmistakably surprising to hear it. In a way Girl was smiling when Boy told her that because I guess she felt that connection too. Eventually Girl also broke up.

Boy and Girl did not get together if that's what u were wondering about. They were still meeting up every now and then till this day as platonic friends who knew the other was a little bit special. Girl thinks that Boy however may have a hundred special other female friends and even though pride prevents her from expressing it,she felt a little of that nagging jealousy creeping up to mar her face with greenish colour from time to time. She felt like The Incredible Hulk. Okay,maybe not that Incredible nor biggish. In a nutshell this sinister attraction served to be a strange kind of tension sometimes becos Boy had a fiery temper and threw it around like a beach volleyball. Girl sometimes felt that she was always looking for the fire escapes in case Boy started another forest fire with his fury. He was angry with alot of things,and presently disgruntled with various aspects of his life.

I think Boy and Girl are such interesting characters becos they were mirror images sometimes. Like the saying like poles repel,come one day these people think they might try to hit a high note with their chemistry,they would only be tragic casualties of war,so they have decided to become each other's doppelganger or I suspect till that bird,"stork" i was talking about comes to kidnap one of them away.

Guns and Roses

After reading Dan's comment in my last note,which was a mini scene between two people, I had the urge to write something. What would our feminist Germaine Greer say to something like, "victoria secrets" and "lotion" being the remedy in relationships I wonder,especially if men were to buy them as answers to turbulent situations. Hmm, maybe the Wife of Bath might flash her very 'gapped' tooth in vehement agreement to a new set of lingerie and lotions. Maybe even Paris Hilton might clap her hands in glee afterall Victoria Secrets was the end-all and the be-all for women and I suspect unwittingly so for men and their pockets.

I suspect that since I am a little like an alien,or a 'ghost' as described by Maxim Hong Kingston in regards to displaced women or the "other-ed" category I might be bemused more than ecstatic when greeted with such an interesting reception. Maybe throw in a little more stereotype like a "Mr Darcy" character from "Pride and Prejudice" and a dazzling compromise of words after an argument with "Mr Darcy" winning his lady at the end of it all with a little coquettish twist. That, and an exquisite suit of the finest Fall/Winter design from Victoria Secret's latest lingerie coupled with one of those AK-47 babies from guerilla warfare would make an emblem of "Guns" and er roses from the lingerie.

I wonder if women can be bought. Oh,what am I talking about? Isn't it already a tale aged old? How about an order like, a "burger with large fries,coke and a girlfriend, on the side.Oh, supersize that, the meal,not the girlfriend mister!"

Sorry mail-order brides,I would rather spell "male-ordered brides."